Anal sex can be an intimate and pleasurable experience for many couples, including me. However, It also brings embarrassment to many couples, especially for women — Poop gets on his penis, fingers, or even bed sheets.
Many women worry that such accidents may ruin the atmosphere of sex, or even worry that their partners will hate them because of this incident, so they are embarrassed and afraid.
What They Say
However, as many couples share their experiences, occasional contact with feces during anal sex is normal and unavoidable.
I (F26) had anal sex with my long-term boyfriend (M28) after showering right before, but despite that, a small amount of feces came out afterward. It wasn’t much, but I still feel incredibly embarrassed. He reassured me that it’s okay, but I can’t shake the feeling of being gross.
We’ve only done anal about six times in the past decade—he enjoys it, but I usually avoid it because I worry about making a mess. I’ve always been afraid that if I’m not perfectly clean, it might change how he sees me.
Is it normal for this to happen? Will he think of me differently now? And how can I prevent this in the future? I’m not really into anal, but I want to make him happy. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
One time, my boyfriend unexpectedly fingered my ass, and his fingers ended up covered in poop. We’re still together 10 years later! These things happen, and I think most people who enjoy anal understand that a little mess is just part of it. It’s completely normal and natural.
There are a few times when my boyfriend wanted to have anal sex, but I had to go to the bathroom because I wanted to poop in half way. He didn’t mind at all, and we never really talked about it again. He could only go in halfway because of the mess 😭 I’m still a bit embarrassed thinking about it, but he clearly didn’t care LOL.
I actually pooped during vaginal penetration once. He didn’t mention it, we just cleaned it up and moved on. He probably didn’t mind.
The Reality: It Happens to Almost Everyone
Almost all couples don’t want to have poop come out during anal sex. After all, even if it’s not embarrassing, it will smell bad.
However, real-life sex shows that most couples have encountered this situation when they engage in anal sex. Just as one person humorously put it,
If you knock on poop’s door, sometimes poop will answer you back.
Some couples say their partners don’t feel anxious or upset when this happens. Whether it’s poop on their hands during dilation, or poop on their penis during anal sex, they don’t mind.
Because most people who enjoy anal sex can expect this mess and are happy with it.
Why Does This Happen?
The rectum isn’t designed for complete cleanliness like other parts of the body, and some fecal residue can still remain even after using the bathroom or showering.
However, there are some factors that make feces more likely to occur during anal sex:
- Timing: If you have anal sex when you feel like pooping, your chances of coming into contact with feces will increase significantly.
- Diet and Digestion: Food intake and digestion speed can affect how much waste is in the lower intestine.
- Depth of Penetration: The further he penetrates, the more likely he is to bring out rectal feces.
Minimizing the Mess: Practical Tips
While some mess will always occur, there are steps that can help reduce the chances:
- Defecation Beforehand – Before having anal sex, go to the toilet and have a bowel movement. This can help clean out your rectum and reduce the posibility of encountering stool.
- Using an Anal Douche – Rinsing with warm water using an anal douche can help clear any remaining residue. However, frequent douching is not advised, as it may irritate the rectum and disrupt its natural balance.
- Showering Beforehand – While a shower may not clear the rectum completely, external cleanliness can add to the overall comfort and confidence.
- Communication with Your Partner – Talking about boundaries, expectations, and concerns in advance can reduce anxiety and help ensure both partners are aligned.
- Using Protection and Linens – Using condoms and laying down a towel or disposable pad can make cleanup easier if any mess occurs.
Reframing the Mindset: It’s Natural
Perhaps the most important thing to learn from other couples’ experiences is that contact with feces during anal sex is normal and unavoidable.
Many couples are comfortable with this, because they understand that the anus is not as easy to clean completely as other parts of the body.
One time I pooped during vaginal sex. He didn’t say anything. We just wiped the sheets and went on with our lives.
If you still feel embarrassed, please don’t blame yourself, because this is a normal body reaction and we can’t change it.
But you must remember that there is no shame in it.
If your partner loves you, he will understand this accident and will value your efforts more instead of thinking it is a troublesome thing.
If you want to try anal sex, you should understand that this situation is common and can be controlled. It can help you make the experience more pleasant and easier.
Final Thoughts
Anal sex, like any sexual activity, has its own caveats, and occasional messiness shouldn’t be a reason to avoid it.
By understanding the realities of the situation, taking steps, and maintaining open communication with your partner, everyone can have anal sex with confidence and ease. As one friend said:
If you throw a party at poop’s house, don’t be surprised if poop shows up.
At the end of the day, comfort and mutual consent are the most important aspects of any sexual experience.
If anal sex causes too much anxiety or discomfort, it’s perfectly okay to set boundaries and explore other sexual activities that feel right for you and your partner.
