1. How to determine if you have sexual desire for women?
The U.S. National Center for Health Statistics found something surprising. Among adults aged 18-44, more people have had same-sex experiences than those who identify as bisexual or homosexual. This means that no matter how someone identifies themselves, they may still feel sexual attraction to the same gender.
The same study also found that 12.6% of heterosexual women have had same-sex experiences. Exploring sexuality is a continuous process, not a sudden decision. If you feel a special emotional attraction to women or find intimacy with them comfortable and natural, your feelings may change over time and experience. Give yourself enough space to explore.
I have no experience in lesbian sex and I feel anxious and nervous. What should I do?
This feeling is completely normal, and many people share the same concerns. After all, we live in a world dominated by heterosexuality. Most adult films feature heterosexual couples, and even many lesbian films are made to please straight men.
When there is little information and you have to figure things out on your own, it’s easy to feel lost. It’s helpful to talk about your worries and expectations beforehand. During lesbian sex, give yourself time to adjust and explore. Don’t focus on perfection. Learn to enjoy the unique experience.
2. Keep A Calm Mind
Many girls, including myself, feel nervous before their first sex with another woman. They worry if their partner will like their body. They fear the experience might be awkward or disappointing.
It’s important to keep an open mind about this new sexual experience. Accept your own and your partner’s unique feelings. Be sensitive to each other’s needs and boundaries.
Before sex, try looking at yourself in the mirror. Learn to appreciate your body’s beauty. This can boost confidence and make the experience more satisfying.
Steps to Mental Preparation
- Mental Preparation: Think about your expectations and concerns. Practice feeling comfortable being naked.
- Knowledge Preparation: Learn the basics of lesbian sex. Understand physical responses, techniques, and safety tips.
- Setting Preparation: Adjust the lighting. Choose warm, dim lights or use candles and scents to create a romantic and sensual atmosphere.
Don’t pressure yourself to meet any standards or expectations. When two people connect emotionally, physical intimacy will feel more natural and harmonious.
3. Four Steps to The First Sex Between Women
1). Foreplay Focuses on Sensitive Areas
A woman’s body is very sensitive. Don’t rush to touch her private parts. It can feel sudden and uncomfortable.
Start with foreplay. Focus on the area behind her ears, her chest, collarbone, and neck. Gently stroke her cheek with your fingers. Lightly touch behind her ears with both hands. Kiss her neck and ears. Let your warm breath create a tingling sense of anticipation.
2). Caress Her Breasts
Tease and touch her breast over clothes. Slowly remove them. Use your fingertips to gently press and rub around her chest.
Trace circles with your tongue from the outside, then move closer to her nipples. When she starts to tremble, suck harder.
Mix in kisses and touches on her waist and legs. Create a sensual and arousing atmosphere.
3). Stimulate Her Clitoris
Most people know the small nub at the top of the vulva, which is called “clitoris”. But most of the clitoris and female erectile tissue are under the skin.
Instead of only using your fingertips or the tongue on the tip, try squeezing the whole clitoral area. This can make her reaching clitoral orgasm easier.
4). Stimulate Her Vagina
The G-spot is inside the vagina, about one and a half finger joints deep on the front wall. You will feel a soft and raised area.
Once her vagina is ready, insert one or two fingers. Curl them toward the front of her body to find the G-spot.
Don’t Forget to Wear A Condom
Lesbian sex does not cause pregnancy, but there are still risks. When using fingers, you’d better wear finger cots. They make the intimate experience smoother and prevent nails from hurting the sensitive area. This is especially helpful for women who are having their vagina penetrated for the first time.
For safety and comfort, use water-based or silicone-based lube. Suitable lubricant can reduce friction and prevent discomfort during your sexual activities. Avoid oil-based lubes like baby oil or petroleum jelly, which can damage latex condoms.
Matching Sex Toys
Everyone’s body is different. Nervousness may make finger penetration difficult. But you can still reach orgasm using vibrating toys.
If this is your first time, try a clitoral suction toy or a vibrating toy.
4. Recommended Lesbian Sex Positions
1). Missionary Position
The receiving partner lies down and spreads her legs. The giving partner leans in close, pinning her to the bed.
While teasing and caressing, stimulate her sensitive spot. She will become fully aroused. When the moment is right, enjoy her completely!
2). Overlap Position
The receiving partner lies on top of the giving partner. Use your fingertips to gently touch her butt and legs.
Tease her to make her wet. While holding her, kiss and make eye contact. Slowly slide your fingers into her wet vagina.
If it’s difficult, try reaching around from behind or slide your hand from below with your palm facing up.
3). Kneeling Position
The receiving partner kneels on the bed. Start by licking until her vagina is wet, then slowly penetrate with your fingers.
This position allows you to use your fingers to stimulate the vaginal wall near the anus, hitting different sensitive areas than the missionary position. While she kneels, you can also caress her breasts.
Feedback and Communication
| Type | Aim | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Open sharing | Build mutual trust, set expectations | Discuss your imagination and expectations in advance |
| Boundary Setting | Establish safe behavioural boundaries | Observe your partner’s moans and body language to judge their comfort. Or ask them directly in a gentle and romantic way. |
| Timely feedback | Adjusting behavior to increase sexual satisfaction | If you are the receiving partner, give feedback during sex. Share what feels good or uncomfortable. |
- Mindset Preparation: Stay open and find balance between pleasure and challenges.
- Sensory Exploration: Let your body and emotions connect. Enjoy intimate touch and sensations.
- Communication & Boundaries: Communicate well and respect each other’s limits.
- Self-Discovery: Use this experience to feel more confident and comfortable with your sexual identity.
- Safety & Satisfaction: Take safety measures and focus on mutual sexual pleasure and fulfillment.
The first-time sexual experience between women is more than just sex. It is a journey of personal growth and deep connection. During your sexual activities, the most important things are understanding, respect, and care for yourself and your partner. May each experience bring you closer to your true self, strengthen your bond, and bring both joy and fulfillment.
